People like to make long lists of things they want from the other person in their relationships. Be this, do that, have those.
And somewhere in there, humor is often listed. Hopefully.
This is at the top of my list. Not because it is the thing I would take and lose all others, but because I…
If you ever find yourself confronted by a bear, do not try to run.
Stand very still, and avoid eye contact.
Then, in the calmest voice you can manage, comment to the bear about the weather that day.
Don’t forget to avoid eye contact. Just look up if it helps.
If that does not work, try discussing the benefits and/or disadvantages of the current day of the week.
Do not look at the bear.
If you are close enough to the panel, slowly reach out and push the button of a floor that is closer than the one you had already chosen.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention these instructions only apply if you and the bear are in an elevator together.
If you’re in the woods or something, I hope you weren’t following this.
